More About Rosemary Senjem

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Getting Unstuck

Desire:

The quickest way to get un-stuck is do whatever we have not been doing. This could mean:

• Stretching, dancing, listening to music or Finding stillness and having it for a good long while
  
• Writing, organizing, making piles or Making messes
  
• Making our own food or Eating out
  
• Sleeping or Waking

The nature of being stuck is that it is too much of the same experience. It is out of balance. This is why the quickest way to get unstuck is to do something different.

Focus:

I was learning to rock climb. I had done a few classes and climbed with friends. Had even taught beginners. But I still had that nagging grip that I was in over my head as soon as I tied into a belay line. I set out to change that experience.

Opportunity:

I was terrified: sewing machine legs, sweaty palms and an obstinate brain that could not imagine my body moving vertically on rock. After rappelling down the cliff at Shovel Point, I found myself on a ledge that was about six inches wide and an inch deep.

Far below there was only the rocky shore of Lake Superior with her big waves and dancing sun reflections. I had a good foot hold on that ledge and ya know, despite the fact that this was all I had I wanted to keep it. I wanted to stay right there on that spot.

Process:

I looked at the water.

I noticed the ants crawling by the grass that grew right out of the rock.

And I felt really guilty.

What was I doing here?

My belayer above was going to get worried. I felt around with my hands for something that felt as secure as that ledge under my foot. Nothing.

My arms felt like they had no blood in them. In my memory I look like a two year old who’s body goes limp as the parent attempts to walk them out of the toy store. I was feeling all my strength in stuckness.

Finally, my leg and foot supported by that little ledge started to get uncomfortable. I started to whimper. I didn’t want to go up. I had already proven to myself that it was impossible. I was STUCK.

Suddenly my body gave me the desire to move. Move out of my new discomfort with this stuck place. My whimpers turned to intense focus. My hands were frantically scanning the rock for somewhere to go. It no longer had to be a ledge. I found something. Not much. About the size of a grape embedded in the rock. It was all I could find. I began to shift my legs. Nervously trading which foot would stand on the ledge. Each leg took a turn feeling trying to fit into the crack that ran from my knees up past my face.

I knew what was there. I couldn’t stay where I was. Suddenly all sound stopped. A quiet voice said, “I’m just gonna move.”  This became a mantra that I said out loud to myself as I put one foot in the crack – I’m just gonna move – and the opposite hand on the little grape-sized bump – I’m just gonna move. And then I found myself somehow knowing how to jam my hand higher in that crack so it could help – I’m just gonna move. I made about 5 moves up to the next ledge – I’m just gonna move.

Results:

It was a big enough space for both feet and now I could see my belayer. She said, “Hey! What happened? I though you were stuck? That was really graceful!” My hands were shaking and my muscles were pumped up and tight. I could not remember much of what I’d just done. What I do remember is: I’m just gonna move.

Even now, years later, when I find myself stuck in a negotiation or stuck on some broken programming code or even stuck in traffic, I say to myself: I’m just gonna move. It doesn’t need to be fast or even visible on the outside. I know I’m moving out of my stuck place. 

What’s your mantra to get out of your stuck place?